Learning How to Love Yourself Where You Are Now
When we decide we want to change something, we often spend time talking about all the things we don’t like about where we are right now. We talk about how much we’d like to be on that other side, the side we are happier with, the side we know we’d love more than where we are now.
If that sounds too abstract, let me give a couple examples: “I hate the wrinkles under my eyes” or “I hate the way I look in the mirror” or “I wish my waist was smaller and my legs were more toned” or “Why can’t I just freakin’ eat healthy food instead of eating terribly like I did today!”
This is something I hear too often and have also fallen guilty of saying or thinking those thoughts. If there is one thing I’ve learned about making progress towards goals we set, it’s that in order to move forward, we have to love ourselves where we are now.
Embrace Your Body
God gave us one body. There are going to be things we like more than other things, and things we can’t change, but that’s what makes us who we are. Accepting that, and allowing ourselves to love it and cherish it is the only way we will ever be happy.
Have you ever thought, if I can reach this specific goal, like say, losing 10 pounds, I’ll be happy? I have, and when I lost that 10 pounds through consistent exercise and adding in healthier foods to my diet, I still wasn’t happy, and didn’t understand why. But then it hit me; instead of congratulating my progress, I focused on my ‘flaws’, not the healthy things I’d done for my body. Why wasn’t I feeling grateful that I was healthy enough to exercise? That I was stronger than 2 months prior? That I was feeling more energetic?
I was stuck on something else I was wishing I could change. Those ‘flaws’. But why? For who? The internal battle we play with our mind about our body can block those positive feelings and self love. Every day we wake up is a gift. Don’t allow yourself to focus on the negative, when there is so much more to be positive about.
Don’t End Up in “Comparisonville”
Every one of us is different. We can do the same workout, eat the same exact food, but our results will never be identical. Therefore, comparing ourselves to others will get us nowhere…but we do it anyway! We compare just about everything, with a strong emphasis on external factors like our body.
While we know it doesn’t make us feel good, we can fall into comparisonville without even knowing we are there sometimes! My tried and true trick for becoming more aware of when I’m falling into that habit is when I am scrolling instagram, or looking around at the people at a party, and I start saying thoughts to myself like “I wish I looked like that” or “I wonder what people think I look like compared to her”, is stopping myself right there and mentally telling myself that those thoughts do not serve me well and what other people think is none of my business. Comparisonville is a slippery slope; the quicker we see that we’re in it, the faster we can re-word our thoughts and snap out of it.
What’s wrong with loving yourself now, and loving everything that you are? Nothing. And it means everything. If you want to make changes in your life to provide nourishment for your body, do it because you love your body enough to treat it with the respect it deserves, not because you hate it.